"It's not getting the answers in life that's tough. It's taking the time to
ask the right questions."
M. Grotell
We can only hold a limited number of points in mind before our heads fill up and we get
confused. We need a tool to handle complex issues and help us keep a good balance between
our feelings and reasoning.
Dialoguing is a technique for solving complex and difficult problems. To do dialoguing,
take an issue and form it as a Yes/No or Go/No Go question at the top of a piece of paper.
Draw a line down the center of the page. Write `Yes’ and `No’ or `Me’ and
`Inner Counselor’ atop the two sides. Then let them debate it like friends discussing
the issue, one side playing devil's advocate, questioning and challenging you to consider
all the options and facts, the way a good friend would do. Just taking the other side of
an issue makes you consider questions you otherwise might not stop to ask; so you think it
through better.
Let the dialogue be a conversation, with one side making some point and then the other
responding, rather than just a list of pros and cons. When you write your different views
on paper, you more readily see which side carries the greater balance or weight of reason
on its side. There are levels inside us that are more important than our impulses or
emotions. Dialoguing can help us to hear those deeper levels.