"Throwing raw meat to a lion won't make him a vegetarian."
Churchill
It helps to establish "being fair" as a groundrule in relationships. Being fair
provides some of the firmest ground anyone can stand on because it's easier to fight for a
principle than for self-interest. If we see the behavior as a violation of fairness, we
can stand firm and say to the other with conviction, "That just doesn't seem
fair." Then it's no longer a question of my desires vs. yours. It's whether we're
each willing to be fair to each other, no matter who benefits.