"Use soft words and hard arguments."
The problems that invariably upset us the most are those that keep happening again and again. We react so strongly in part because we predict they're going to keep occurring or bothering us and we feel helpless to do anything to fix them.
If repeating the pressure you have been bringing against a problem has already proven inadequate, don't just repeat your request at that same level. That's simply nagging, and nagging never works.
Escalate the pressure instead of your emotions. Stack the deck more in favor of you succeeding. For example, it helps to sense whether a problem is just a one-time occurrence or part of a pattern. If it's an isolated act, it may not warrant making an issue over it. Save your energy for the patterns that are likely to continue unless you stop them. Escalate by tackling patterns, don't attack the act.
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