"Feelings are contagious."
You can often help soften feelings and find solutions to problems if you reveal your own
mixed bag of feelings to the other person, especially the feelings you have that support
their point of view. It lets them feel secure enough to let down their defenses and to
open up to you because you're not defensive or threatening them.
Model the kind of behavior that you’d like from the other person. Most people react
the way they feel they have been acted toward. If we act bristly toward others, they tend
to act bristly toward us. The same if we try to be fair to them. It always takes two to
tangle, so give them a chance by trying your best in your part in the dance.
Of course, there's no way to know how another person will respond; but being fair and
showing mixed feelings helps invite fairness back.
Take a problem you have with someone's behavior and say to them, "I'm upset about
this issue, but I also understand your situation and I would like to find a way to resolve
this that is fair to both of us." Try to see their side as well as your own and see
how they respond.